The room across the hall

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The room across the hall from our bedroom has changed more times than any other room in our house. When we moved in it was made into a guest room. When we decided to adopt we moved the guest bed up to our family’s cabin in preparation for a nursery and for a few months the room was empty. Then it had just our car seat and stroller in it and then one little onesie hanging in the closet. Then when I was pregnant with Evelyn I got ahead of myself and set up the Pack’n Play that we would use as a bassinet. After Evelyn passed there were a few months when the door never opened.

Then the day before Valentines Day we got a call about a 15 year old who was pregnant with a little girl.

I’m going to call her Joy just in case someone tries to connect the dots and because that’s what we felt when we heard about her. Joy was living in a group home when she found our adoption agency. She had run away from home when she found out she was pregnant. Our agency’s director told me only a few details about her but she said that, when asked what she wanted from an adoptive family, she answered “I want them to have a full refrigerator, clean clothes for the baby, and I want them to go to church.” Such small requests and all things Josh and I are beyond willing and able to provide. These were big things for her though. She had picked us out of the stack of profiles and told our agency director “I want them to adopt me!”. She told me more background information needed to be gathered, but after that we would get to talk to Joy and then meet in person.

I got off the phone and fell flat on my face in the middle of the floor and cried praising God. I felt such hope and relief and I was so grateful that this young girl had chosen life for her child. After I pulled myself together I called Josh. He was at work so he couldn’t get too excited but I could hear the relief and happiness in his voice. Next I called my mom and mother in law. Both cried.

Window treatment I made.

The room across the hall started to change again. I hung some pictures my dad took, made some window decorations, and refinished a dresser that was mine when I was little. I will always be grateful for this fresh wave of hope and peace that came over our family at a time when we desperately needed it.

A few weeks later though, Joy stopped returning calls. We never did get to talk to her or meet her. We never got to tell her that we pray for her and her child. I still do. Her due date came and went. I thought about her constantly that day. We pray she has peace, a good support system, and happiness with her daughter. We’re not mad at her for keeping her child. We are sad for the loss of the future we imagined with her and her little girl. So the room across the hall keeps changing. I can’t wait to meet the little person who will change it forever and make it the most beautiful room in the world. 

UPDATE- This room is now occupied by our beautiful Squeaks.