I go back and forth on the idea of feeling like a mother to someone who hasn’t been given to us yet. It feels presumptuous and disrespectful to look forward to our future family when the woman giving birth to our little one hasn’t given me permission to. None the less, I love this child and we started the adoption process with the intention of one day receiving said child. If we stick with the process (it’s not even up for discussion to quit) there will eventually be a baby who needs a home and an expectant mom who chooses us to provide that home. That’s just the logical outcome. It could be days, weeks, even years, but if we continue to be open and available, this spot in our hearts and our home will be filled. Soooooo….. I am expecting, paper pregnant, due date unknown, however you want to say it.
Pregnant moms get to do weekly updates. They get to share ultrasound pictures and crazy craving stories. When I was pregnant with our daughter I took “belly” pictures to record her growth. I’ve seen expectant moms keep records of mood swings and belly-button expansion, all the joys of pregnancy. Why can’t I do the same, just with a few modifications? And so, Motherhood Mondays has been born.
We’ve been waiting 18 months and one day. That would make this the beginning of my seventh trimester. Ha!! (I guess the word trimester isn’t appropriate anymore.)
Hopeful. The longer we wait, the closer we get. It has to happen sometime right!?
Pork chops. Good thing that’s what I’m making for dinner!
Thoughts about our child:
I can’t wait to make fall finger paintings of leaves out of tiny hand prints and go to the local pumpkin patch with a bundled up baby. Is it just me or do newborn Halloween costumes just keep getting cuter!?
Thoughts about our expectant mom:
You give me hope. You give me joy. You give me a future I can’t wait to live.
This week God:
Reminded me that He was human and had to deal with other humans on a daily basis too. I strive to live up to His example of grace. The apostles would have driven me crazy!!