I’m about to type something I never thought I’d type again.
Before I start explaining, I want to make something clear. This blog is not going to turn into a pregnancy blog. I promise. I remember when we were in our wait, I was reading a blog by another hopeful adoptive mom who unexpectedly became pregnant and I immediately had no desire to continue reading her blog. Infertility is not something I take lightly and I do NOT want to step on tender hearts.
I have, however, decided to celebrate this pregnancy as much as I can. That must sound strange to the average person. “Why wouldn’t she celebrate a pregnancy?!” Because I’m painfully aware of what could go “wrong”. Stillbirth is not something you get over. Ever. The pain fades, but you never forget the experience. So, to chronicle my attempts to look past my fear and trust God (as if He has ever let me down. Oh, Kristen of little faith.) I have started another blog in addition to this one. Follow along if you’d like. Fair warning though, this pregnancy will probably still be mentioned here and there on this blog, because it is part of our lives obviously. I would still like to keep my focus here on adoption.
When you’ve experienced trial after trial for as long as we have it’s easy to expect more of the same. We know God loves us. We do not doubt His power, grace, or sovereignty. We feel unspeakably blessed to get another chance at a healthy pregnancy. Although it has been said by our doctor that, since Evelyn’s passing was undiagnosed, the chances of another loss are present, we remain very optimistic. God is bigger than medicine. Just the fact that I am pregnant again is a miracle!
So there you have it. Intermission explained. Now go forth, and be gobsmacked at the incredible unpredictability, generosity, and power of God.