I’ve named this blog Adoption Love. Quite honestly, when I chose that name I didn’t put much thought into it past the fact that I personally equate adoption with love. I see adoption as an act of love, not just between a mother and her child (whether adopted or biological), but in every sense of the word. To adopt an idea, virtue, or belief is to make it your own, a part of the fabric of your thought process. From the second it becomes “yours” it changes the way you absorb and react to life as it happens. We constantly adopt new emotions and memories making them part of who we are. To adopt is to love with every fiber of your being to the extent that you don’t know where you end and that emotion, thought, memory, or belief begins. It’s part of you. Adoption is pure conviction.
“Life is dense. It is multifaceted, composed of many things, an intricate layering and interweaving of experiences, ideas, feelings- a one of a kind compound of the physical, emotional, and spiritual. In short, life is not a simple thing and neither is your legacy.”* I believe wholeheartedly that adoption is love. I believe this because of the life that I’ve led and the experiences that I’ve had. I believe this because of the legacy I see from other people. My parents show me a legacy of passion, humor, and conviction. My grandparents showed me a legacy of stewardship and endurance. My husband shows me a legacy of honesty, strength, and joy.
My legacy is being built through some fairly substantial life experiences. Granted, the majority of my “hard” life lessons are very decidedly first-world, but some I would not wish on my worst enemy. Physical and emotional loss brought about purely due to the brokenness of this world. But the legacy I gain from it is one that I am humbled by and at the same time proud to call mine. I can look at the story of my life and see God’s hand in every part of it. I look at the most heart wrenching moments, the major car accident a month after our wedding, struggles through infertility, the loss of our daughter, and I can feel God’s grace. In that car accident, I experienced physical loss but gained compassion, patience, and an even stronger bond with my husband. Through infertility I lost confidence in my body and my womanhood, but I gained trust in God’s plan and extreme gratitude that my worth is not based on my ability to reproduce. The loss of our daughter is a much harder thing to see gain in. Even still I daily find joy in the memory of knowing her and feeling her. Now I also find joy in the fact that the milk I produced from her existence in this world is nourishing another beautiful life.
It is infuriating to me that there are people in this world who have been hurt through adoption. Not everyone is coming from a legacy of love like ours. Women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy who have never been loved appropriately, have maybe been abused, or were possibly exposed to the harshness of the foster system see adoption through a much different pair of eyes. They might have never experienced the love of a stable supportive family. I pray with all my heart that they experience and grasp the love that God has for them.
I was raised Christian, but even if I wasn’t I would long for the kind of love that God has for me. I have experienced adoption through the love of Christ. Complete and utter sacrifice. To be put to death so that I could spend eternity in His presence. That’s love, and through that love I have every right to call myself His child. He wants so intensely to know me at every second of every day, through every emotion and thought. I think the only thing that comes close to that kind of love on this earth is the love of a mother for her child. Our child will feel a mother’s love times two. Our child will experience love through pure unselfish sacrifice. They will experience love through our desire to know them on every level of every emotion. Our legacies are connected through love.
*”Creating A Spiritual Legacy” by Daniel Taylor